Alexwalsh's Blog

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Addressing objects as if they were people…. people that I am selling

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Here’s the deal books. This is to do with you as well iPad, listen up. Books, you take up too much space. Don’t pretend exemption from a decluttering, you are all mass produced items, not unique little snowflakes. I like some of you for more than your contents tho, because I am not backwards and know that you are more than information or an ornament. You can stay, Under Special Conditions.

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Ipad, what does this have to do with you? First of all, you will have to remember that you are first and foremost an Ereader. I know that your parents forget that they are phones, but that is them and this is you. Secondly, this is a deal that you are going to have to strike with the books and the other bits and bobs that are on the way out. Make yourself appealing to potential buyers, the cash you make will go into the iPad fund. You won’t have to cover the whole cost, just the difference between what I spend on you in a year (approx £260 pa) and what the iPad costs (approx £400-500). If a book is digital, it can still be more than information.

[insert = Pie chart]

That brings up the cost of downloading a book, that’s fine, its money I would have spent anyway, but to cover that you will have to hold up your side of the bargain in being more than an Ereader (first and foremost an Ereader, but more than an Ereader. Clear?) I want civilised access to the net, realistic connection speeds. We’ll have to get over the fact that you lack a usb port.

[picture = inspiring landscape]

Perhaps, books, you think you are being treated unfairly. Remember that we are in a country with a very high rate of literacy. The printed word is not in itself of high cultural value. The ability to discriminate between high and low cultural worth is. Now I feel that talking to devices as if they are human beings makes me more of a tool. The end.


Written by alexwalsh

January 28, 2010 at 5:37 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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